Dr. Daisy's Official Counseling Session With Ms. Puddles

Well, friends, I needs your help! See, I have been reviewing Ms. Puddles' Barkaholics Questionnaire and I am still shaking my ears in worry because this gal may be the furst barkaholic that just can't be cured! 

Ms. Puddles is NOT WILLING to admit she has a problem so that is a HUGE PROBLEM fur Dr. Daisy! So at the end of this interview could you please help me come up with a cure?

D: When did you first realize that you were addicted to barking? 

P: I furst realized I had an “issue” withs barking on July 28, 2008, da day I was borned.

D:  Your mom's barkaholism was passed on to you before you were borned, poor thing! 

D: Is barking making your humans and neighbors unhappy? 

P:  Uh, yea! One time I was barkin’ so much da neighbor came and asked mum if I was okays.

D: Sounds like you are a typical "attention hound"! 

D: Do you think you have to bark in order to protect your turf or your humans? 

P: Wells, if I don’t than who will? They can’t protect themselves.

D: Ummm, are you aware that humans have the numbers 9-1-1 memorized for a reason? Just sayin'! 

D:Is barking affecting your reputation? 

P: What reputation?

D: Don't be so modest Ms. Duddles, you know you everyone looks up to you down on you because you are short you know how to find the best deals in cheetos and beer, and you know it!

D: Have you ever felt remorse after barking? 

P: Hehehehe, are you kiddin’? Of course not.

D: So the words "I'm sorry," never crossed your paws?
 

D: Have you been sent to the dog house as a result of your barking? How did that make you feel?

P: Nope, if I barks, say fur a n hour then mum will just call me in da house.


D: Please tell me that your mum DOES NOT reward you with treats after scaring the neighbors! 
 

D: Do you feel most comfortable with other barkaholics than with non-barkers? 

P: Oh it don’t matters to me one way or da other.

D: Have you no shame, lady???

D: Do you crave barking at a definite time daily? When?

 P: Just when evers it hits me to be vocal and anytime is a good time.

D: That's a lot of barking, my furend! I feels sorry for your little throat!

D: Have your humans recommended any no-bark products to help you kick the habit? 

P: Yeppers but they has nevers followed through

D: Good fur your humans because those no-bark collars are the worst!

D: Have your loved ones ever organized a barking intervention in your behalf? If so, what was the result?

P: No cuz it wouldn’t do any good. I is a stubborn little doxie

D: Admitting you have an addiction to barking is the 1st step towards recovery and I betcha you didn't admit a thing, stubborn girl!

D: Do you bark to escape from boredom?

P: Yep, and I barks just furs da heck of it. I bark when I pee pee, I bark at da neighbors, I bark at da mail man, I bark at da leaves flying ‘cross da yard…I bark fur no reason at all.

D: Butt how is that pawsible that you are bored when you are Bunny's athletic trainer and all thats?

D: You sure are a tough nut to crack, Ms. Puddles! I'm going to open up this session to fur group therapy.....Let's find out what Blogville has to say befores I make a final diagnosis....okays?