Monday, January 5, 2015

My Beloved Henry Is Gone

Perhaps the reason why I took a picture of Henry as he lay dead in my lap was because I couldn't believe it really happened and perhaps I thought that the reality would sink in if I looked back on this picture several times later to make me realize that he was indeed gone. 

Fifteen years of unconditional love was snuffed from my life in a matter of minutes and the pain has been unbearable ever since!

The scenario was that I made a 1:00 appointment on Friday to find out why he was so listless and unwilling to snuggle with me before I went to bed the night before. 

On the last morning of Henry's life it was alarming to watch Henry lay motionless instead of pester Daisy while she stood in his space but I still hoped for the best. I was hopeful that all the vet needed to do was increase his dosage of hyperthyroid medicine or run a few tests and then he'd be fine. 

Besides having been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism two years ago he had a heart murmur at birth and it was suspected that he had kidney issues and I believe that all of those health issues caused his body to shut down and I also believe he chose to die on my lap and in the car where he most loved to be rather than on the exam table.

If you've been following my posts for awhile you would know that ever since he was a kitten he loved car rides such as this one which was taken in October but I was unprepared that this ride would be his last but I refused to believe that the signs were there. 

As we prepared to leave the house he faced the back of the carrier rather than peek inquisitively out of the "window". Also, as I walked him towards the car he had a different protest meow than ever before and once in the car he didn't "ask" to get out of the carrier but I opened the door anyway. He then walked across my lap and used my arm as a "ladder" so he could look out the window and he was successful and even pressed the passenger side window "button" and as it rolled down he collapsed so I hoisted him up but then he made another odd meow and that was the last sound I would ever hear but I didn't realize it at the time. Right after that I put my hand on his side and he appeared to not be breathing and then he grew cold and but I didn't want to believe he passed away even then.

As soon as I parked in the vet parking lot I nonsensically called the vet while in tears to ask someone to come out to check his pulse and to get help bringing him inside. I don't understand why I didn't think I could carry him into the building even to this day. Within seconds a vet came out with a stethoscope and told me he wasn't breathing. Of course, I was in hysterics and she carried him to the exam room where I had to make arrangements.

While I stood by him at the exam table the vet imprinted his paw on the clay and was told to bake the clay for 15 minutes but I have yet to find the energy to do it.

When I finally had the wherewithal to drive  to Pet Passages, a pet after-care service  located in Lee, New Hampshire, I asked the funeral director to snip some of Henry's fur so I could have a keepsake.

Henry will be forever in my heart! 

I am finally writing about this because it is very therapeutic and because I know that you, dear readers, would be able to relate to my loss. 

In the next few days I will write several remembrance posts so that you can better how much Henry meant to me and I will also post about my experience at the funeral home. In a few days I will be picking up his urn and ashes. 

There is such a deep void in my life as well as in Buster and Daisy's life that cannot be filled. 

May he rest in peace.


  1. I am so sorry April, I read someplace this saying and I always think of it when we lose someone we love. "With great love comes great loss"
    Hugs Stella Rose and momma

  2. We are so very sorry to hear about dear Henry. We know there are no words, but we do send you hugs and all our love.

  3. I'm so very sorry.

    Monty and Harlow

  4. Oh April...I'm very, very sorry.


  5. I am so, so, very sorry. Such sad days.

  6. I'm so sorry for your loss. Henry sounds like an amazing cat with an even more amazing spirit. Run free, sweet Henry.

  7. I am so terribly terribly sorry and know all too well how you feel. My Bobo passed at age 18 from heart issues......I loved Henry and wish that I could give you a hug in person. I am so deeply sorry. I also clipped some of Bobo's fur and have it in a little heart shaped box, often I STILL can't bring myself to look at it and he passed nearly 8 yrs ago. Keeping you close to my heart ((((hugs))))

  8. We are so sorry. Sending you lots of hugs
    Lily & Edward

  9. I am so sorry. I know how painful it is.

  10. It is so hard when our pets leave us - elderly or not, it still hurts. I am sorry for your loss April and I know that Henry is looking down at you from the Rainbow Bridge and telling all his buddies - there is the BEST huMOM in the world.
    Love Noodles

  11. April, I'm so sorry. I know Henry was very special to you and the loss is so hard to accept right now. You have a lot of wonderful memories of all the years the two of you shared. Keep those memories safe in your heart.

  12. Thank you, everyone, for your words of comfort. I knew you would understand because "pet people" love their pets and consider them as part of the family and they are! It has been difficult to go through the day without feeling my heart sink when I walk in every room of the house. It is uncomfortable to be in my home at this point but in a way I am comforted because his memories are within these walls but of course there are memories in the car where he most loved to be. I will click over to your blogs when I have a moment so I can personally thank each and every one of you.

  13. Oh April, I am so sorry to hear your beloved Henry has gone to the Bridge. There aren't any words I can offer you, but please know that you are in my thoughts. Millie sends purrs.

  14. We are so sorry for your loss.

  15. Oh, I am sorry to hear you are going through this difficult time. Since I'm only a new follower I look forward to learning about Henry, his story & how special he is to you.

  16. Lost & Found pet and reunite them again with their owners is very tough job.

  17. I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Henry. Words fail at times like these, I guess because there are no words that can express the unexpressable. I know full well the deep loss you are feeling. Today marks 515 days since I lost the furry love of my life. Yes, I am counting. I will count until the day comes that I can be reunited with her again. So I understand. WE all do. We who love with unconditional love, know that there is a condition after all, it's that their life span as fragile as it is is far shorter than our own, and time and time again it will be broken. But I do believe it will be made whole the day we leave this earth to join them. I am so very sorry, I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

  18. I'm so sorry to hear about your dear Henry. He sure was a special boy.


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