Sitting In With Dr. Daisy And Her 1st Barkaholic Patient, Dakota

I've only been the Official Barkaholics Counselor of Blogville for a few weeks and the stress has already started to show on my face! I swear that my firm jowls are starting to look saggy! And my eyes don't look different at all are puffy from reading thousands one response from my Official Barkaholic Questionnaire! 

But after reading Dakota Gittleman's questionnaire answers I forgot all about my problems phobias and focused on the issues at paw....barkaholism! 

Please know that I am not breaking any patient/doctor confidentiality agreements by sharing this interview with you. All information has been pawmitted by Dakota himself.Amen.

Hi Dr.Daisy! I hope you can help me! I am almost 4 years old and I am a Sheltie ('nuff said right?) and I have a huge problem with barking!! (or so my neurotic Mommy (from Cat Chat says!)

1. When did you first realize that you were addicted to barking? 

 I first noticed I had a barking problem practically since I was born. It is in my lineage.

2. Is barking making your humans and neighbors unhappy? 

Making them unhappy? That is an understatement!! My Mom is a raging lunatic when I go on my barking binges. I bark at open garage doors, people walking outside, the mailman, other dogs, when my Mom stirs eggs, when she opens a can (with a hand held opener), when the Chihuahua across the hall goes outside to go to the bathroom (he wears bells on his collar that signal his departure) and I go insane. I could go on and on!

3. Do you think you have to bark in order to protect your turf or your humans? 

Of course I think I have to bark to protect my humans. That is my lineage. I am a Sheltie. I am a herding/working dog. My neighbor understands me and says I am like 24 hr security.

4. Is barking affecting your reputation? 

Yes. Everyone thinks I am psychotic. They don't realize that I am the most loving and gentle dog under normal circumstances.

5. Have you ever felt remorse after barking? 

Well...maybe sort of. When I finish a barking binge I will sometimes cough after I work myself into a frenzy, then I wonder....is it really worth it???

6. Have you been sent to the dog house as a result of your barking? How did that make you feel?

No. I have never been sent to the doghouse. We live in a condo and I don't have a doghouse. BOL.

7. Do you feel most comfortable with other barkaholics than with non-barkers? 

I sort of like other barkaholics....we speak to each other.

8. Do you crave barking at a definite time daily? When?

Ohhhh yes! I am primarily an early evening barker. That is when I really kick in!! I also love to bark when my Mom plays "Wheel Of Fortune" on Facebook. She does that after dinner. The sounds take me over the edge. I can bark throughout an entire evening if I really put my mind to it.

9. Have your humans recommended any no-bark products to help you kick the habit? 

My Mom wanted to but my Dad is the nicer of the two and he won't allow it. My Mom wanted to get a shock collar. My Dad says that is mean. I think it is also.

10. Have your loved ones ever organized a barking intervention in your behalf? If so, what was the result?

No, not yet. The thought HAS crossed their minds. That is why we are contacting YOU!

11. Do you bark to escape from boredom?

Sometimes I think I do. Sometimes I just like the sound of my bark. It can be nice and shrill...the better to send my Mom into a frenzy with.

12. Do you bark alone? Or do you have barking buddies? 

I usually bark alone. But the Chihuahua and I really let it rip when strangers come into our building....there are 2 other dogs in our building too but we take pride in being the most neurotic and that we bark the loudest. One thing though...when all of the other dogs stop barking I continue at least another 20 minutes after they have stopped.

Dr. Daisy's diagnosis - 

I feels your pain, Dakota, and I am here to help! Furst of all, I raise my paws to you fur admitting that you have a barking problem because that is a huge step towards recovery! Also, the fact that you held a pencil in your paw long enough to fill out a questionnaire shows that you are really serious about recovering from your addiction. 

BUTTT....the one thing I did not sense is that your mom may not be taking your barking very seriously and I sense that she has  added to your problem rather than helping by playing "Wheel of Fortune" on-line. Couldn't she turn the volume to "mute", fur goodness sakes? 

Butt----you, my furend, are part of the problem too and I haves a few suggestions fur you. First, I suggest that you take your mom fur a walk when "Wheel of Fortune" comes on or maybe you could walk her before the show so you're nice and mellow when she's playing the game (without sound, of course). Second, since you love herding so much why don't you sign up for sheep herding classes? Wouldn't that be furry fun? We have a doggie daycare here in NH (American K9 Country) where those classes full up fast and furious so I bet there's some herding classes in your neck of the woods! I hope my advice helped butt I'm sure other furends will join in on the group therapy session today with more suggestions! Right, furends?
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What I suggest is GROUP THERAPY....SO LET'S BEGIN RIGHT NOW! Who has some advice to offer?