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Friday, February 4, 2011

Dr. Daisy's Official Counseling Session With Ms. Puddles



Well, friends, I needs your help! See, I have been reviewing Ms. Puddles' Barkaholics Questionnaire and I am still shaking my ears in worry because this gal may be the furst barkaholic that just can't be cured! 

Ms. Puddles is NOT WILLING to admit she has a problem so that is a HUGE PROBLEM fur Dr. Daisy! So at the end of this interview could you please help me come up with a cure?


D: When did you first realize that you were addicted to barking? 

P: I furst realized I had an “issue” withs barking on July 28, 2008, da day I was borned.

D:  Your mom's barkaholism was passed on to you before you were borned, poor thing! 

D: Is barking making your humans and neighbors unhappy? 
P:  Uh, yea! One time I was barkin’ so much da neighbor came and asked mum if I was okays.
D: Sounds like you are a typical "attention hound"! 
D: Do you think you have to bark in order to protect your turf or your humans? 

P: Wells, if I don’t than who will? They can’t protect themselves.

D: Ummm, are you aware that humans have the numbers 9-1-1 memorized for a reason? Just sayin'! 


D:Is barking affecting your reputation? 

P: What reputation?

D: Don't be so modest Ms. Duddles, you know you everyone looks up to you down on you because you are short you know how to find the best deals in cheetos and beer, and you know it!

D: Have you ever felt remorse after barking? 
P: Hehehehe, are you kiddin’? Of course not.

D: So the words "I'm sorry," never crossed your paws?
 



D: Have you been sent to the dog house as a result of your barking? How did that make you feel?

P: Nope, if I barks, say fur a n hour then mum will just call me in da house.


D: Please tell me that your mum DOES NOT reward you with treats after scaring the neighbors! 
 

D: Do you feel most comfortable with other barkaholics than with non-barkers? 

P: Oh it don’t matters to me one way or da other.

D: Have you no shame, lady???

D: Do you crave barking at a definite time daily? When?

 P: Just when evers it hits me to be vocal and anytime is a good time.

D: That's a lot of barking, my furend! I feels sorry for your little throat!

D: Have your humans recommended any no-bark products to help you kick the habit? 

P: Yeppers but they has nevers followed through

D: Good fur your humans because those no-bark collars are the worst!

D: Have your loved ones ever organized a barking intervention in your behalf? If so, what was the result?

P: No cuz it wouldn’t do any good. I is a stubborn little doxie

D: Admitting you have an addiction to barking is the 1st step towards recovery and I betcha you didn't admit a thing, stubborn girl!

D: Do you bark to escape from boredom?

P: Yep, and I barks just furs da heck of it. I bark when I pee pee, I bark at da neighbors, I bark at da mail man, I bark at da leaves flying ‘cross da yard…I bark fur no reason at all.

D: Butt how is that pawsible that you are bored when you are Bunny's athletic trainer and all thats?


D: You sure are a tough nut to crack, Ms. Puddles! I'm going to open up this session to fur group therapy.....Let's find out what Blogville has to say befores I make a final diagnosis....okays? 



25 comments:

  1. I is no helps Dr Daisy cos Da Momster calls me Captain Shouty cos ovs my barkin fer no reason.
    Sorry

    Luv
    Richie
    xx xx

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  2. I've always heard that knowin' ya have a problem is one step closer to the cure....

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  3. We agree with The Japanese Redneck. But in case a cure isn't possible, maybe a change of occupation would help. Maybe a hell-fire-and-brimstone-screaming-preacher, or, maybe as a politician since they love the sound of their own voices so much. OR, maybe your mom and dad should just sound proof the entire house and yard. Wow, that might take a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th mortgage, though. Maybe you could talk, opps, bark them into it :D

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  4. Well, I am already a bonifide preacher and da Governor so I has dat covered. I knews I was a lost cause all along, but personally I thinks I has a beautiful voice so why not work on da hoomans so they can see dat? I'm gonna blame it on them.

    I'll be back to see what everybuddy says...heehehe, dis is fun.

    Puddles...I'll be outside barking

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  5. I hate fur you to have to admit defeat, Couselor Daisy, butt this is probably one NUT you cannot Crack!!!

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  6. OMC Puddles Mom told me about this interview so I had to drop by to put in my two cents worth. Hush Puddles I can hear you all the way up here in North Carolina. Puddles is a Dachshund...which translates to 'Barker extraordinaire' in Southernese. My peeps were once owned by a Dachshund for 10.5 years. Mom often says Puddles is Toto reincarnated. If you are after a quite puppy obedient puppy you don't get a Doxie. If you want a family member, with an opinion and a ton of fun in that mighty mini body then you get a Doxie!!!
    Sincerely,
    Madi Puddles Best Feline Friend Forever

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  7. Sounds like it don't bother your mom much so I would say your home free!
    Belt it out, baby!

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  8. Well..........Riley says for Puddles to keep on barking! Who else is going to protect her little girl? I think we all know that Albert and Whitney are just for show with those long furs and they'd be no good at protecting the homestead.

    Riley might be what you call an "enabler" though.

    Elyse and Riley

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  9. I can't help, I may have a, um, barking problem myself. I'm a terrier, it's in my blood, but it drives my people CRAZY!

    We're hoping that you can help Puddles and maybe we can find some advice from there!

    Nubbin wiggles,
    Oskar

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  10. Morgan says that there's nothing wrong with a good scare for people who are even looking at your people, property or anything else that belongs to you! She, um, might have a bit of a barking problem herself...

    I think Puddles is lucky her people don't have a citronella collar, squirt bottle or shake can! Maybe she just needs to channel her barking into something constructive, like trying out for American Idol!

    Bunny

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  11. Hi! it's me, Buddy,
    I personally don't have any problems barking. I'm quite good at it. but I'm impressed with your counsel and will definitely recommend you to my friends.

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  12. Can you bark and drink beer at the same time? Might work...

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

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  13. Dr Daisy!! Ms Puddles is adorable!! Me and Charlie do not know what to recommend except that we know dogs bark to communicate whatever they're feeling! Does Ms Puddles go for lots of walks and do lots of activities to get all her energy used up so she can sleep when she's at home? We think she's a beautiful bundle of energy and has so much of this energy to expel!

    Take care
    x

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  14. Ah....has you ever heard da hoomans on da telephone.....talk-talk-talk-talk-talk.....Well.....folks......WE CAN'T TALK.....so barking is our com-mu-ni-ca-tion! How else are we's supposed to .... gossip!

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  15. I'm thinkin that she hasn't HIT BOTTOM YET. In other words... her big ol'butt .

    I hope you got my official Mayorial Email yesterday. Your skills will be Truly needed tomorrow at the BIG RACE.. You know how sporting events bring out the Barkaholics... and... Puddles WILL be there!!!

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  16. I really, really love the suggestion from Luscious Lucy, "a hell-fire-and-brimstone-screaming-preacher, or, maybe as a politician since they love the sound of their own voices so much" and I wish I had thought of encouraging Puddles to use her barking for other pawposes!

    I also loved that Scotsmad asked if Puddles could drink beer and bark at the same time because Puddles must surely need to "wet her whistle" during her barking hours!

    Bunny's idea to have Puddles use her beautiful voice on American Idol! I betcha she would win "paws down"!

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  17. Hi Puddles, it is Dakota (I was interviewed a week or so ago with the same problem)

    I am impressed and think you are a female doggie after my Sheltie-boy heart.....want to get married?

    I like your gutsy attitude BOL!
    xoxo

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  18. Just provide her with a perpetual supply of cheetos and beer and her mouth will be too busy to bark:) We love Puddles.

    Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

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  19. I is a barker myself, I don't think Puddles actually barks that loud. I means she is so small she can sleep in a laundry basket. I would like some video proof..... like a barkoff!!!

    woof - Tucker

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  20. Told you SO!! Haha
    You can't fix it, plus she's not broken...she's just PUDDLES!!

    Wyatt and Stanzie

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  21. I don't know if there is a cure! Puddles doesn't seem to think she needs to be fixed and if she thinks it isn't broken, I don't know how it can be fixed!! Just sayin'!

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  22. I just hope she doesn't bark with her mouth full. A bunch of cheetos soaked in beer spewing forth would not be a sight I'd care to witness! ;O

    Waggin at ya,
    Roo

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  23. This is going to take a long time. I believe Miss Puddles is stuck in Da Nile.

    Slobbers,
    Mango

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  24. I must have the only hound dogs who don't bark!

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  25. Very funny!

    I found a video of a superbowl commercial from last year (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcDzc2UKAHY), and one had a dog with a bark collar who took it off and put it on his human. It's kinda funny but also kinda sad.

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